English Wedding Traditions

No matter where you get married these days, you’ll hear of wedding traditions unique to the country or region in question. England is no different, although those traditions have changed quite a bit over the years.

Ever the superstitious nation, England was for a long time obsessed with omens – good and bad – to the extent that even the consecration of a marriage on the wrong day, or at the wrong time of year, would indicate doom to friends and well-wishers. You’d be hard pressed to find a single element of wedding design that at some point in time wasn’t governed or controlled by old wives’ tales or superstition! From wedding and bridesmaid dresses to confetti, cakes, flowers and even the honeymoon – tradition affects everything when it comes to weddings.

Times change, though, and the wedding customs we adhere to today are a very different matter. Concepts like the hen ‘do, the stag night and ‘something borrowed, something blue’ are all modern additions to the idea of English wedding traditions.

So many issues had to be considered during the preparation for an English wedding in the old days that it’s almost a miracle anyone ever got married! One of the many rhymes used to give brides-and-grooms-to-be advice details which months are best to tie the matrimonial knot:

Married when the year is new, he’ll be loving, kind and true
When February birds do mate, You wed nor dread your fate
If you wed when March winds blow, joy and sorrow both you’ll know
Marry in April when you can, Joy for Maiden and for Man
Marry in the month of May, and you’ll live to rue the day
Marry when June roses grow, over land and sea you’ll go
Those who in July do wed, must labour for their daily bread
Whoever wed in August be, many a change is sure to see
Marry in September’s shine, your living will be rich and fine
If in October you do marry, love will come but riches tarry
If you wed in bleak November, only joys will come, remember
When December snows fall fast, marry and true love will last

It wasn’t just the month that mattered when it came to planning a medieval wedding. Should any member of the bridal procession, the groom, the best man or father of the groom happen to catch sight of a pig, a lizard, a nun, a monk, a pregnant woman, an open grave or a funeral on the way to the church service, it was considered an evil omen, and a sign that the betrothed couple were cursed. However, seeing a spider, a rainbow, a nanny-goat, a wolf, a lamb, a black cat or a chimneysweep was believed to signfiy the opposite – to the extent that honourary chimneysweeps can still be hired to attend weddings in the UK.

Much of the superstition is centred around keeping the bride protected from harm, be it accidental, deliberate, or pre-ordained. The idea of the wedding veil stemmed originally from a plan concocted by the Romans, to mask and disguise the bride, thereby concealing her position from evil spirits or demons who might wish to direct misfortune her way. The same is said to be true of bridesmaids’ dresses, which are intended to resemble (in shape, if not colour) the bridal gown. By hiding her among similarly-dressed companions, the bride could be protected from evil-doers or jealous suitors.

The bridal gown itself is still a centre for superstition. It’s not uncommon for elderly relatives to present the bride-to-be with a silver horse-shoe, a long-standing symbol of good luck. The symbol is traditionally to be sewn into the hem of the wedding dress, or to be carried along with the bouquet. We all know it’s bad luck for a groom to see his bride before the ceremony, on the day of the wedding – but did you know it was also considered unlucky for the bride to make her own dress? Or for the bride to wear her full, complete wedding outfit before the wedding day? To this day, some bride insist on the final stitch to their gown being left unsewn until immediately before the bridal procession sets off for the church.

The bride is accompanied into the church by a flower girl, who scatters petals and blossoms along her path. This act is intended to signify a long and happy journey through life together, for the bride and groom.

Similarly, after the ceremony, guests and well-wishers used to throw shoes at the happy couple, believing it to indicate immense luck if either they or their carriage was struck. Over time the practice gradually altered, until wheat or grain took the place of shoes – a move that drastically reduced the frequency of wedding-day concussions. The idea behind it remained the same, however, and throwing grain at the newlyweds was believed to bestow fertility and prosperity upon them. This act still continues today – although paper confetti is usually substituted for the grain.

Traditionally, the wedding cake is supposed to be a rich fruit cake, thickly iced and in-laid with marzipan. One of the surviving English wedding traditions is the removal of the top tier of a couple’s wedding cake, which is then to be frozen. The frozen cake is then supposed to be brought out to use as the centrepiece at the christening of the couple’s first child.

Over the years, so many traditions and superstitions have been put in place around the idea of weddings that to a contemporary audience, it seems a little silly. It’s important to remember, though, that silly though an old custom may be, it was often some variation of that custom that evolved into the traditions we still hold dear today.